PREPARATION

The Oxford dictionary defines the word prepare as “getting ready to do or deal with something”. Preparation is very important when one is looking at living a fruitful and meaningful life; especially when you work hard with a positive mind-set to achieve good results. It is also important to help deal with the unexpected during the course of anything we do or are currently doing. I will call this the “last preparation”, because there after you start perfecting your situations in life.

Just like a team of builders ready to build a house; they prepare the land first and then dig a foundation. They do this so that when the laying of the foundation commences, what follows after manages to stand firm. The house itself will stand firm against anything that has a potential of destroying it. Things like strong winds; heavy rains and some elements. They do this also to ensure whoever will reside in the house is safe. This takes good preparation on the builder’s part and they do this with the tenant to be in mind. Likewise in your life, each new day is a day for you to lay a new brick in your house (your life); to ensure that it stands still against all odds. Again you do this with your future family and current family in mind because they too will benefit from your success.

An athlete is another perfect example; they possess practical traits you can use to get motivated. Take Michael Phelps for example; one of the greatest Olympian of our time. He would not have achieved all the success he has in swimming if he had not prepared; preparation and repetition has awarded him success. Being prepared and not just prepared but being well prepared allows you to reach for greater heights. Please take note that; great things are not only those that make you famous or a celebrated individual; but also by and large those that you do without getting public acknowledgement (remember this). Being well prepared allows you the liberty to achieve what other people find as an impossibility. Consider this though; it is not easy to prepare yourself to do or deal with some things if the necessary discipline is not there. So bottom line is, with preparation one requires a certain level of discipline. Gather all the strength you can to discipline yourself and remain in that state of discipline for as long as you can.

Just as you spend many years in elementary school; college or university. This is not just to pass time, but this is a time of preparation for life. The quality of your life will be determined by the level of discipline and preparation you put into it. Therefore preparation is a stage in your life that you can never avoid.

“Preparation is accompanied by necessary discipline”

MAKING THINGS WORK

Many times we fail to understand a simple basic principle that: we hold the ultimate key to unlocking our destinies. Do not get me wrong, God directs us and is the author of our individual destinies. My point is a simple one; we have the call to either activate and follow through or deactivate what God has ordained for us. Making things work has never been a simple task to follow through, especially when everything around us seems to fail. My mother used to say, “When days get rough, normally better days are around the corner”. This is very true of our lives, the challenge is that we give up easily and instead of making things work we rather watch things fall apart.

We spend a lot of time; money and energy focusing on things that are not really important and that barely fulfil our destinies. I have realized that 90% of the time it is because we want to please people around us and at the same time satisfies our ego. We end up buying things we do not need just to please people; get financially frustrated because we cannot afford the lifestyle we have set for ourselves; getting ourselves into huge debts and ultimately putting things that matter last, like our responsibilities; children; your spouse or even your work. Always remind yourself that it is easy to tie yourself to something than it is to get out of it. Nothing cripples you more than trying so hard to please others and forgetting yourself. Keep in touch with God; keep in constant and firm connection with Him. Let him direct your path, ask for His guidance and then allow yourself to make things work. 

There is no greater joy than that which you definitely know comes from God and you worked for. Making what you love and what God has shown you work, leads to ultimate happiness and satisfaction. No matter how much people go against what God wants for you, simply keep holding on to your beliefs. Remember also, that where you find yourself is directly linked to where God wants you to be. This is as far as your destiny is concerned; I am not talking about finding yourself in a bar or doing something you know is not consistent God’s principles, absolutely NOT.

Make things work for yourself and your loved ones. Be motivated by both positive and negative experiences in your life. It is preparing you for bigger and better things. God bless you.

“Unselfishly consider yourself the best among many”

GENUINE FRIENDSHIP

Genuine friendship is a match made in heaven. It is a union that surpasses many other unions we may know of, even married people are best of friends (well some) and bonds between some people and their pets. This type of friendship seems not to exist anymore, people are taking it for granted and have lost realization of its value. I believe real friendship is a lifetime investment and worth more than an investment a banker would make. Perhaps even more than the money in your bank account.

Why do I say it is worth more? The answer is very simple, you gain more from it than any bank account can give you (no bank charges or over drafts), and it has more value than any shares you can ever invest in. In other words you gain more out of a genuine friendship than you from any mere transaction elsewhere. Look around you and ask yourself two simple questions. Are you surrounded by genuine friends? Are you a genuine friend? Many of us do not realize the value that is embedded in loyalty from a true friend.

One important thing you need to understand is that, if you do not derive some sort of positive value or added growth from your friend (through shared interests and lessons), then clearly it is not good for you. I am not talking about monetary gain or favours. I am talking about that individual who is able to help you develop a strong character that individual who against all odds is able to say beyond a shadow of doubt that you are a true friend and has your back any day. See nowadays people lie to each other just to keep a temporary feeling of excitement. Be true to your feelings about the value someone is or has in your life. Also try and establish if you make any positive difference at all in the life of someone who calls you friend.

This is not meant to create a rift between you and your buddies, but some genuine introspection can do justice to your character and personality. Remember the important question: Is there any value or character building benefit from your friendship? The ginger bread man and milk can hardly call each other friends. If one makes the other fall, surely the other only reaps to benefit nothing except to quench some other person’s desires. This concludes only that a lot of people would rejoice to see tension in any form of friendship. The downfall of the other brings joy to others. Be careful of that.

Your friendship should not be based on a list of expectations that if any one is not accomplished then it messes up the relationship. I believe true and genuine friendship should be based on mutual trust and understanding. Trust that is unquestionable when a storm arises or when critics take to their duties. Do to your friend what you would expect them to do to you or for you. A basic biblical principle should guide this notion “do unto others as you would like them do unto you”

“Genuine friendship is a match made in heaven”

CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP IF YOU MAY!

Crying is not a sign of weakness nor is it a sign of desperation. People cry for various reasons and unaware they release pressure in the process. I am talking about pressure you feel when you hurting or facing a challenge. I view crying as a way of dealing with hurt and the releasing of tension and pressure that has built up inside you over a period of time. People deal with negative and positive emotions through crying I believe (sometimes that is). My encouragement is: cry and cry yourself to sleep if you want.

Try to blow pressure into a balloon with your mouth or using a filling station pressure pump without stopping, I am sure the balloon will definitely blow up at some point. This is because it has taken in more than it can handle, too much pressure. One can always avoid this by releasing a bit of pressure to keep it normal. The difference is a balloon cannot be mended but you on the other hand can easily have a second chance to a happy life; the kind of home you want; the kind of spouse you want; the kind of financial freedom you want etc.. If pressure is bottled up and allowed to mount up to extremes can easily cause permanent damage.  Unwarranted pressure can lead to depression; anxiety; panic; unhealthy lifestyle; alcoholism; easily giving up and many more. Some end up killing themselves or even grossly hurting themselves.

I have experienced that crying sometimes will make you feel much better and contribute to a great feeling of relief. As I mentioned earlier, crying is not a sign of weakness but a smart way of dealing with pressure, an act you can even do in private, isn’t that awesome? Be able to open up, first open up to yourself and allow yourself to understand that you need to deal with an immediate issue. Understand also that you are only human and no negative situation remains unsolvable. Challenges are not meant to be permanent. Secondly talk to someone you trust, share with them how you feel. It is easier to share your story than merely responding to questions that you might not be comfortable with. Thirdly allow yourself some change, it has to come from you, you have to allow change to take place by opening up to it. For example when you are hungry you eat, you allow yourself the liberty to eat. Then after you feel good about it. Likewise allow yourself to heal and change.
 

Remember:

“No challenge is meant to be permanent”

THE BLAME GAME

Blaming yourself about things you cannot change will not change anything at all. Sounds a bit confusing I know, but the bottom line is not to blame yourself for situations you know nothing about.

Many times we find ourselves playing what I would call the blame game. Blaming yourself for situations you know nothing about; situations you did not contribute in and situations created by someone else. For example, many people blame themselves for divorced parents or parents undergoing a divorce settlement. You did not contribute to that situation, you are part of it but do not blame yourself for it. It is not your fault. Your life can easily be messed up because of the blame game.
Things are bound to go wrong at some point in your life; either with people you love; your job; your health; your financial state and plans you have towards reaching your goals among many other things. It is important however, to never put the blame on yourself. Of course, own up to mistakes you make along the way. Just never allow them to put you down and blame yourself for long.

I am not suggesting that it is easy to just ignore your challenges, but the least you can do is motivate yourself towards the most important things in your life. People in your life; the things you want to achieve in life; where you see yourself in the next couple of years and on things that make life more interesting and worth living.

Consider putting a smile on your face over a permanent frown. Remember against all odds will forever be against all odds. Make a choice to break the chain of anger in your life; the chain of divorce in your family, it can and should stop with you; break the chain of financial problems by planning properly; be happy by breaking the chain of constant frustration and be open to love, of yourself mainly and others. Do not use your negative family history or mistakes you have made in the past to justify what happens to you. Break the chain of unhappiness, you can do it! No one else can. I have been constantly reminding myself that I have to strive to be better than what my parents where (not that they had an unhappy life). To be a better than they were and a better individual than I was yesterday.

“Stress is a defeated man’s excuse to face reality and work at making things better”

WHAT IS NORMAL?

Being normal nowadays is viewed as abnormal and abnormality is viewed as being normal. Quite a huge contradiction I must add. People spend a lifetime trying by all means to act normal, be normal and be regarded as normal. One question though, what actually constitutes normality?

Do you ever consider that you are normal in whatever you are doing?  Normal in your comfort zone (sometimes that is); normal in your day to day life and above all created normal. I believe this state of us trying so hard to detach ourselves from who we are is actually a state of abnormality. I am not suggesting that you do whatever you want. By fulfilling selfish desires leading to self-destruction and affecting those close to you as well. All based on a superficial idea of happiness . In reality, anything you do that negatively affects you and ultimately affecting others, detaches you from being normal.

Be yourself yes! Let God decide your path and direction. Your purpose surely is not to try and be someone you are not. Let no one tell you who you should be to fulfil what they think is right for you. Accept correction and advice from people that know more than you, but do not allow yourself to be abnormal or led to feel abnormal.

“Push yourself to overcome what people find as normal and reach God’s plan and purpose for you”

ARROGANCE

Arrogance is the creation of the unkind and unwise, the ones who do not see value in added sense and knowledge from others. It cripples the very core of our existence, as it has the ability and strength to shutter a person, a community and the world as we know it. It is capable of destroying what took a lifetime to build. However it is also a state of mind which we are able to eliminate.

If one considers the importance of listening, one would realize that nations, families, wealth and standing relationships have been formed through listening. Again most of these have been destroyed because people choose to be arrogant. A committee of arrogant people is incapable of running itself, it is only capable of running itself to the ground.

Lesson learned is that nowadays young people have the “we know it all” attitude. Now remember experience is one of the greatest teachers in the world. If our elders are able to warn us of capable danger before it happens, who are we to reject it? They speak from experience filled with worry and emotions. Arrogance has turned our youth into undesirable creations. I say so because our elders wish success and prosperity for us, just as you cast away something old and that doesn't work according to your expectations, that is how much they feel about us sometimes. The youth is constantly torn between loyalty to the norms and loyalty to the truth expressed by our beloved experienced elders.

Success is coined through listening and learning, it is never established through arrogance. One might argue and say arrogance is healthy, as it can lead to a healthy construction of anything. The belief that there needs to be a positive and negative support of anything to create tangible results. I say it is good to be objective and subjective in most things we do, but let us not do all this in arrogance.

Most ancient stories and the Bible itself, one is aware of how listening was important in the functioning of a community. Where ever arrogance prevailed, people perished. In today’s world, young people die before their parents. Gone are the years where children buried their parents, it’s become a norm that parents bury their young. Death isn't a pleasant or enjoyable thing, but there was honor in being buried by your own children, which I firmly believe in. Arrogance has led a lot of our young people into their graves before their time. The love of money and pleasing the flesh have found more meaning in our society.

As I have mentioned earlier, how I have come to a decision to make a success of my life. I have decided to chuck out arrogance and choose to listen and learn more. Listen to my elders, listen to those in authority and those that wish the best for me. Largely to stop painting a negative picture about people trying to help and advise me, stop going against those in authority. Most of us are guilty of constantly shunning those that have authority over us, our bosses, management at a work place, your supervisor, your teacher, your pastor and our parents. Remember the bible instructs us to obey those in positions of power/authority. By doing so, God will bless us abundantly.

Through my experiences, I have learned to stick to what enriches the soul, the mind and the body. That is listen and listen some more. Another thing to bear in mind is that don’t be arrogant to the small people as well, your young sister or brother. Even the smallest of people can give you wisdom. This is very true, as it happens all the time, we just don’t admit it at all. Have you been in a stuck situation and it happens that good advice is given by the youngest person around? So let’s stop being arrogant and listen more.

“Arrogance leads to self-destruction and your ability to be a success”